Monday, May 7, 2007

my new life is starting again

So most people who read my blog knows how much i love taking photo, the last few months i have been looking at, . I have always said that i will do it. So today is the day, SPIRAL is the photo of the day, I'm trying to work out how to print on the photo, i have try but it didn't work. then the next step is to put all of my photo's in a new log space on my blog (I will work it out one day).

what else has been going on, not to much, however I'm getting my head in the right place at the moment, the last couple of years has been hard for me. Don't get me wrong i LOVE my family and if it was not for them i wouldn't be here.But when you marry in a family there is more problems then you have in your own, All family have things happening good and bad things. But most people can't see it till something rocks it. So when the rock hit me it hit me hard.I got very stress and very unstable in myself.but after a couple of years of talking to a few people and going to the experts, i still couldn't get myself back to normal, and be a good mum and wife. so telling myself if i don't get more help I'm going to go to the nut house (it was only one step away for that).YES it was depression YES still is. but I'm in control of it at the moment and I'm feeling very strong with myself and I'm proud of myself, I have worked out a few things in the pass few weeks.1." I don't care what people think about me, if they have a problem with me i don't care",why you ask "they are the ones who have to problem not me. 2. i don't have to make things my problem. If something goes wrong with someone I don't make it my problem, it's there problem but if they ask for help i will be more and happy to help them out. All my life i love to please people around me, help them, be there for them. but it's hard work, So for once in my life i needed to step back and get help from them. It's funny (now) to see how things change when you stop looking after a people around you,and start looking after myself, I saw people in a different way, I'm a better people from this experience and a stronger person, i believe in myself and what I'm doing. Yes I'm still on my pills but I'm slowing working toward to be drug free.

The people who is reading this and didn't know sorry, i do believe that you could try to help me, but if i couldn't believe it myself no one could help me. and if you are reading it and saying why would you write something like this on a blog ,well if i can help one person to say to them self that they have depression and believe that they can get better, like i have done, i will feel proud on the person who showed me it. It's like pay it forward. thank you Janine You have helped me in so many ways. thank you. people need to know about depression because it can change your life in so many way, even if you don't have it. If you what to talk to me about it or ask how I'm feeling please be free to ask, I'm only a email/phone away.

On a lighted note I'm putting myself on a health and fittest test for 3 month, I would love to drop a few dress sizes. day one of my health test leek and leek water only, MM, it's 12pm and I need food lol.

talk to you guys soon.

love Marie


Anonymous said...

marie!!! i am so proud of you..for the photography and for making such brave decisions and choices! YOU GO GIRL! the world is your oyster and you deserve lots of pearls! congrats on accepting it, saying it out loud and realising it doesn't define you! You are not your depression..take care of YOU first and the rest will fall into place (and thank you for mentioning are most welcome!)..i am so proud of you!

Anonymous said...

You should be proud of your honesty, and I'm proud of you for having such clarity of mind, and being able to be self- reflective. Don't forget help's always there... you just have to ask. Love, N.

Anonymous said...

I am so proud of you! You are the best mum I have met (apart from my own of course) I hope you are as proud of yourself as you should be xxxx

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to add to my last comment; depression is one of the hardest things to cope with, as are all things which go on in the mind and cannot be touched by yourself or anyone else. Marie I am proud to call you my friend, I am proud to know you and your family and I am SO SO proud of you for taking a huge deep breath, letting go and letting people know that depression can be beaten! You are a star!!!! Love annoymous pom x

BrigitteG said...

Hi Marie, it was so nice to meet u at the photoclass, and yes here i am again spending time reading everyone's blog, but hey i think it's such a tough call and you're doing really good and should be proud of y/self but also to talk about it so openly. Good on you. and as for the creative part of it, loooove your photos !! i think it's time for me to get back to basic as well ! will catch-up next week !!
Brigitte G.